I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
