In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
