Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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