so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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