It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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