Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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