you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
