Welp...herpes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
