That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
