what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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