I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
