come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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