so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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