i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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