why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
