Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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