I got chris browned last night
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
