i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
