So drunk its hurt
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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