dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
