your parents love me but you hate me
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
