I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
