you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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