So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
