benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
