New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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