Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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