we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
