Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
