i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am one with the molecules
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
