Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
