Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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