is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
