halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
