I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize