I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
