She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
