i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
