She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
