I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
