I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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