her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize