yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
