he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
