i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
