Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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