so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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