Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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