I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
