Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
