Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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