I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
