I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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