you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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