sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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