You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize