i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
