I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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