Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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