I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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