You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
