Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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